Yet Another Poorly Done Business Proposal

I can’t make these things up, folks. I honestly feel that if someone really wants to do business with you, they’ll at least do more than 3 seconds of research and get your product’s name correct. It should be easy to figure out that the product hosted at http://www.getpaint.net/ is called Paint.NET, and not "Get Paint." The logo is only emblazoned at the top of every page…

Hello,

Our company, Firstlook, is currently seeking partners to distribute our latest software product, SearchInOneStep.com.

With 10 million active users of search software and a stellar record in the search industry, we feel we would be a great match with Get Paint.

Get Paint attracts a large number of downloads, with which our software could be easily bundled during install to provide an alternate steady source of risk free revenue  which goes directly to your bottom line.

We offer our bundling partners the option to be paid per download and would be open to any volume of downloads that your company could provide.

Please feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience if you are interested in monetizing your downloads with Search in One step.  I look forward to discussing this matter with you further.

Thank you,

Sanjay

Well, Sanjay, my product is not called "Get Paint". I went to the website and tried the "search in one step" and it’s garbage. All it does is syndicate a bunch of ads. There aren’t even any search results! So I told Sanjay that I would not be doing business with him.

As for everyone else, if you want a good search engine for Paint.NET stuff, might I recommend http://searchpaint.net instead? πŸ™‚

14 thoughts on “Yet Another Poorly Done Business Proposal

  1. Simon says:

    I think just about anyone who owns a domain name gets these sorts of spam. I know I do.

  2. Sanjay says:

    Dear Get Paint,

    We would like to ask you to reconsider. After all, we can guarantee a 10,000% increase in your revenue by bundling our software. You’d have to be crazy to pass up that kind of opportunity.

    Plus, studies* have shown that bundling search providers with your software is great way to attract new customers interested in Get Paint — because people who like Get Paint are obviously going to be interested in searching for stuff as well, right?

    Further studies** have shown that people don’t like all the steps required to search the web via google. You’ve got to open a browser, click on the google homepage, type in a query, click on “Search” and then look through the results. With Search in One Step, all you have to do instead is open a browser and the user is *automatically* taken to our home page, where they type in the query, click on “Search” and then look through 3 short pages of ads before getting to their search query results. All in On Stepβ„’!

    Thank you,
    Sanjay

    * by my brother
    ** also by my brother

  3. Shukaido says:

    OMG, I just went to that link… what a waste of time… type in search for something simple “C# 2.0 SQL object”… What do I get? a list of links to completely unrelated bullshevick… oh yeah, I think this is a good match for “Get Paint”, but praise be to Rick for laughing about this instead of being a douche bag and adding this lame addware to the best 2D graphics software I’ve ever used, Paint.NET.

  4. HITMAN-X- says:

    Wait now let me get this right. You told him it called Paint.NET and he still calls it Get Paint like an idiot. Then he suggests there search is better then google. If that was the case you would not be E-Mailing Rick on your hands and knees asking him to put your adware / spyware attack software into his program. Also how is that less steps then what I do now. I go to google, it defaults my keyboard input to the input box for me. I type and hit Search and most of the time I find what I am looking for on the 1st page. Now lets do yours. You hijack my web brower and I type in what I am looking for. Then I hit search and how to click 3 times affter that to get to my results. I don’t know yours sounds like it more steps to me.

    Why do any of that when I can download google toolbar and be on any website and type in what I want to find with no ads and only 1 click.

  5. Vissy says:

    Yeah, HITAMN-X- but Google toolbar OWNS your personal and surfing information unless you specifically opt out, which last I’d checked couldnt be done during installation.

    Why anyone would want a toolbar is beyond me. Its the “dual beer can holder helmet sippy-cup” of web browser ideas.

  6. Rick Johansson says:

    I guess this poor attention to detail in this proposal was the ultimate tip-off that this person won’t have what it takes to do a good job. Still hilarious though!

  7. Blooper says:

    Hey, I have the OneStepSearch crap window always stuck to the left of my [mom’s] Internet Explorer window… and it won’t go away…
    >=|

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